Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

Expert guidance in stopping and recovering from abuse "We all have the power to break the cycle of abuse. In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will help survivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood to heal from their wounds so they don't need to re-enact their abusive pasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships."
--Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail
"A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down to earth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature on healing."
--Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse and Why Does He Do That?
PRAISE FOR BEVERLY ENGEL'S OTHER BOOKS
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
"Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse . . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse."
--Marti Tamm Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of Journal of Emotional Abuse
Loving Him without Losing You
"A powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read."
--Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of Are You the One for Me?
Honor Your Anger
"A clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
--Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast editor, Psychology Today, and university research professor, California School of Professional Psychology

Acknowledgments. Introduction.
Part One: Understanding the Legacy of Abuse.
1. What Will Be Your Legacy?
2. Assessing Your Risk Factors.
3. Why We Do to Others (and Ourselves) What Was Done to Us.
Part Two: Facing the Truth and Facing Your Feelings.
4. Coming Out of Denial 59
5. Learn to Identify and Manage Your Emotions 72
6. Learn How to Identify and Manage Your Shame 86
7. Managing Your Anger 115
8. Coping with Fear 138
Part Three: Abuse Prevention Strategies.
9. How to Prevent Partner Abuse 157
10. How to Prevent Child Abuse 181
11. If You Have Already Become Abusive 202
12. If You Have Already Been Abused or Established a Victim Pattern.
Part Four: Long-Term Strategies to Help You Break the Cycle.
13. Emotionally Separating from Your Parents.
14. Facing the Truth about Your Family Legacy.
15. Breaking into the Dysfunctional Family System.
16. Continue to Heal.
Epilogue.
Resources.
References.
Recommended Reading.
Index.