Veni Vidi Venti

Ian Shoales’s acerbic commentary cuts to the core of issues of the day and to the philosophical puzzles that have intrigued and annoyed us since we first fell out of the trees. His lyrics, light verse, comical vignettes, and short fiction delight and occasionally enrage. His mind works at sixty miles a second, and it is up to us to keep up. Veni Vidi Venti includes many short pieces: lyrics, riddles, minute-long Philosophy Talk commentaries about everything from AI to the human soul, and scripts for cartoons that luminous beings and Men in Black that must never be made. Highlights include:
“Spiff Bannister, International Correspondent: ‘Sideshow Cassandra’”: a novelette in the form of a radio play—a carnie grifter looking to improve the old “Girl to Gorilla” sideshow gimmick may just have encountered a form of legitimate time travel.
“Bed & Breakfast & Testosterone”: A brief trip to the manliest, and least comfortable, bed & breakfast of all time.
“Hammacher Schlemmer’s Glory in the West (Our Cover Item Can Be Found on Page 13)”: A prose poem about the very last jet plane trip one might ever take in the age of worldwide pandemics.
“Pain is Pleasure?” An Ian Shoales commentary from Philosophy Talk: in a world of relative plenty, why do people embrace suffering? It’s pleasurable!
“A Cowboy Needs a Horse”: a short story about Western heroes, regional theater, and when you just might need to shoot someone.
“The Real Ian Shoales”: From 1993, Ian Shoales (an anagram of “I, an asshole” by the way) looks back on all the sleazy biographies that probably should have been written about him.
“Kap’n Kitty’s Korner: A Skit”: the script of an episode of the federally mandated kids’ TV program for at-risk preteens. (It’s illegal for them to watch anything else!)

Wonder: Philosophy Talk Commentary
Your Memories on Facebook
Gene Genie
Fuzzy Logic
Hard-Boiled Haiku
Pain is Pleasure?: Philosophy Talk Commentary
Men in Black I: “Pudding”
Self: Philosophy Talk Commentary
“Another Moment with Mister Lincoln” (lyrics)
The Biggest Liar in the World
Hammacher Schlemmer’s Glory in the West (Our Cover Item Can Be Found on Page 13)
Magnetic Therapy: A User’s Guide
Harmless Jokes and Riddles
Bonus! Inoffensive Limerick
Interview with Nick Mamatas
Aiiie A.I.: Philosophy Talk commentary
The Mystical Anthropologist
A Cowboy Needs a Horse
Amnesia!
Men in Black II: “Shoes”
“The Hippie Came Down from the Mountain” (lyrics)
Bed & Breakfast & Testosterone
Should Your Future Self Pay for the Sins of the Past?: Philosophy Talk Commentary
The Real Ian Shoales
True Lies: Philosophy Talk Commentary
Hard-Boiled Haiku 2
Men in Black 3: “Dealing with Strangers”
Need Some Help with That?
Kap’n Kitty’s Korner
The Value of Maps: Philosophy Talk Commentary
Limerick Haiku Conversions: A Public Service
Spiff Bannister, International Correspondent: “Sideshow Cassandra”
Gaining Elvitude
Late-Stage Satanism
Better World: Philosophy Talk Commentary
“Dog Gone Modern” is a 1939 Merrie Melodies Short Directed by Chuck Jones
Projects That Never Left the Garage, and I Don’t Even Have One
A One-Act Play I Just Wrote, called “Mr. Trump Has a Cabinet.” Here it is!